Paris is where you are

A fifteen-day gilded romance it was
Right by the Eiffel, in heavy downpour
Sealed at the drop of her camera, his pen
Blooming at the very spot they stumbled, smiled
took their respective directions and went.

Coffee glazed his notebook involuntary
Or were her eyes conjuring a spell
Was the click that captured her smile, a sheer luck
Or was his heart finally waking up to the flicker of love
While they resisted, a part of them already had taken the leap of faith.

Walking side by side on different sidewalks
The distance closed on in or was it them
A slight touch of the back of hands
A spark, she smiled, he smiled
Love struck.

Pink cotton candies, gummy bears and icy mocha
Entangled in the moments their hearts raced laying side by side
By the musical fountains they kissed
The clouds roared, lightning blazed the sky
As if angels clapped and clicked pictures up high.

Slow footsteps walked to Eiffel
A wrinkled fist held red roses, shimmering in sparkles
A tiny shadow accompanied the hunchbacked
The full moon beamed as if welcoming an old friend back
And a silent drizzle the sky wore.

He sat by her but she didn't take his hand
In hope of that smile, he flew over continents
Laying roses in her lap, he then took her name
Not a whisper, not a sound, his heart broke again
The child, in silence, held on to the tears that slid down his face.

And then he got up, adjusted his tie
If he let it all out, eternity would fall short to cry
The fountains he saw and let drown in oceans of his eyes
"You want cotton candies, Isabel?", clearing his throat, he asked
"I love you, Grandpa", the little girl's voice did an echo dance.

Racing his hand on the headstone, he sighed
Kissing her name, he whispered "Goodbye"
And walked on, slowly, to the vendor nearby
While the little girl, stayed, reading the inscription, moist eyes.

"In Paris life learned to live, love smiled.
In Paris lay me finally for it's here I can forever survive".

And then she opened the note the roses enveloped
yielding a slanting cursive, it read:

"I know you won't speak but I hear you breathe, I hear you cry
I know time is such that I today I cannot lay by your side
holding your hand, listening your song, hugging you to sleep, dusk to dawn.
I take medicines on time but they say I have 6 months
Next year on our anniversary, I might not have to come
For by then I'd rob you off here
For by then I'll make Paris for you up there".

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

Does it look like DAMN is served here?

Was reading 'Tonight I can write the saddest lines' by Pablo Neruda when THIS happened.

I am writing
To not loathe
To not lament
To not transfer even a static of undercurrent I've been living in.
I am just scribbling
names, games, dates, a list titled 'I HATE'
for disappointment does shatter
when once in a blue moon you knock those doors
the ones you lent a hand in putting up
when the world hurled stones
when the very place was world war zone.
Some
don't open up
Others
don't recognize
And when you are about to thank thy mercy of a few
for that welcoming smile
you realize
it's Plaster of Paris
it's as fake as it could be.
For when you took a step in
they didn't move aside,
Rather
stood fixed to the spot
as if hypnotized.
Don't know why
my eyes don't flutter open in surprise
Cos maybe at the back of my mind
I kept room for your royal despise.

Am I packing my bags today?
No. You are.
Am I singing a rap?
You decide.
Are you invited to mend?
In your dreams.
Am I exaggerating?
Wow. Thanks for extrapolating.
Are you gonna give me the 'I don't care'?
Well, I am better at it if you didn't make out yet.
Are your apologies gonna rain?
*Smiles*... Not again.
What is this about?
Maybe ask yourself this same thing
each time when you need me and I am around
and when at all it's a reversal, I am chucked out.
Bravo, such a star you are
Why don't you just stay up in space
Why fall each time some lunatic makes a wish
Why hope for one of your kind
when evidently, I pity that you even exist.
Anyway, enough said
How'd your ice cream taste
A few drops of reality
Voilà! Ain't it great?
Catch ya next time
or well, how about NEVER!
Cos seriously
Even swagger
was laid to rest by your acerbity.
So, Bye
the count begins
1, 2..
FUCK IT, 10!

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Does my pen bleed red after I finish?
Oh NO!
Cockroaches got it white. Got it white.

So very everyday

A random band
A few words sung
and you're won.
A sip and half mug of hot coco
A peaceful night
and you're reading.
A sudden sound
A door opens
"oh hey, Wind!" and it pours.
A hopeful you
A message buzz
and you smile.

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

I seek

I seek assurance
every time I look at you
Unblinking
Just listening to the sound
of how you may say it this time
Would you, at all?
Or will I cross this Rubicon alone.

I seek remembrance
when I sometimes escape the world
hoping maybe this time I'd deceive time
and sit by the stars
forever
as years take a flight back
behind fascinated eyes.
Do you see me
as I see you tonight
Or is it just me all over again?

I seek that happiness
the one that drenched me in colors
I knew no shades of,
in folds of which
I vanished for those winter nights
the ring of your name, it was
I say it again today
but it has lost it's perfume
and sound.
Are you there
or like everything I ever loved,
you too are going...
Gone?

I seek me
in your eyes
in your arms
in your dreams
in your life
in your lies
in your excuses
in your tears
in your home
in your silences
in your smile
but where I finally did find myself
it was
in your goodbye.

So today,
I seek you
to tell you I'm fine
to smile and ask how you are
to hug you and say I'll remember you
to hold your hand one last time
to feel how I felt all these years
and slowly, let go
of everything I wanted
of everything that could be
let flashes of lightning
pour sparkles on me
let clouds sashay in
and rob away what I used to be with you
let rain wash away
memories
and
let you
lose me.

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

A Handful of Happiness

For when they rest their hands on your fingers, the world is a beautiful place.
For when they look at you, they melt away the ice bergs that reign within.
For when they sleep on your hand, you know they trust you with their dreams, that you won't move a lot and break them.
For when you have loved a kitten, you know you have been it's life.

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

Why walk when you can fly

Couldn't fly no more
on the sidewalk lay broken wings
While so in love, she had her eyes closed all through
Searching in his whispers a few words assuring he felt it too
One was holding her hand while in the other he carried a dagger
Even the sometime cloying demeanor couldn't cloak his swagger.

With wings clipped
With eyes still drenched in ambivalence
With every dream ever packed and sent to stars
With memories of those 100 days he ever spared in years, when they met.
She writhed in suffocation
She crawled in pain
She turned around one last time
To let his face drown in her tears
For keepsake
For life
For death.

The colors started to fade
The closing credits were to roll
The life she ever wished for was to end before the start
Holding her broken self
Leaving a part of her behind
Unfazed by what the world might hurl
Struggled, pulled through
Vowed to not look back and start anew
Hopped onto the open palm
Of the one who in midst of tears, made her smile.

In his hues of blue, her pain scattered to yield a rainbow
In his limitless self, he gave her falling self a definition.

© 2012 Neha Choudhry