I always knew

In moments of yearning and symphony of rain
I closed the doors but left open the window, waiting in vain
Hooded a wounded heart in colors of sunshine
Escaping the eyes, emptied glasses of wine.

In series of dreams and spells of autumn
I let the wind decide my direction
Stood surprised as it lead me to your door
Did away with the knock 'cause the 'you' I search isn't anywhere anymore.

In carousel of memories and heavy snow
I set on fire the love-letters I wrote
Sat by them, embracing the daggers from the world that called me heartless, cold
Only to save you from the blame if only they unveil your game, I conjured a blindfold.

In wisp of stolen smiles and that lazy summer morn
I left them at your feet, the pages of a life forlorn
If you ever flip through, in midst of empty silences you might find
What is it like to see yourself through my eyes
The only words I never spoke, I wrote in there for you to read:
“A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea.”
.
.
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I always knew.

© 2011 Neha Choudhry

P.S. The line: “A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea” is by Honore de Balzac (a French novelist and playwright).